Monday, July 18, 2005

Kidnapped!

Not Robert Louis Stevenson's book. This is my boss's version, which, apart from being funnier, is arguably more grievous too:

Me: Boss, this (customer of ours) sucks!

Boss: Yes, absolutely....it's &*%#*$& lose-lose. We can't bend over and take their *&^% endlessly. We can try to appease them once, twice, but after a while we are just locked in a downward spiral. We take their rubbish, accomodate their endless requests, and, in addition, we're made to bear the cost for doing so too!

Me: I agree...

Boss: It's like being kidnapped, but with a twist. The person who's been kidnapped also has to pay the ransom while in custody.

Boss: What's more, his support system (family, friends, etc etc) looks on. No, worse, it asks the person being held for a cut of the funds too.

Me (imagining a situation in my mind): Person gets kidnapped, miraculously finds a phone with which to call out for help. Dials 911.

911 Operator: Hello, 911.

Kidnappee: Help, I've been kidnapped!

911 Operator: Oh, kidnapping. Please hold the line.

Automated Voice Response: This is no longer a free service. The following instructions will cost you $5000. Press 1 to pay by VISA, 2 by MASTERCARD, 3 for additional options. Thank you for your business.

Kidnappee (aghast), presses 1 and gives his credit card details

Automated Voice Response: Thank you for your contribution. Please do not agitate your captors by not being a slave to their every whim and fancy, as it does not bode well with future kidnappers. If your kidnappers demand a ransom, please proceed to pay the same by cash yourself. If unable to do so, please press 1 to make a payment to your kidnappers via us using your credit card with a 10% service charge. For additional options, press 2. To speak to an operator, press 0.

Kidnappee (cant believe his ears, and wants a refund), presses 0.

911 Operator: Hello, 911...


Business as usual. Customer is king, they say. I better go be a customer for a while now. Retailers, beware!

4 Comments:

Blogger thecoolestblog said...

Cool blog and cool message

9:48 AM  
Blogger Roshan said...

time to start blogging again, amigo?

7:30 PM  
Anonymous Facelift alternatives said...

Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!
I have a before Facelift site/blog. It pretty much covers before Facelift related stuff.
Come and check it out if you get time :-)

6:54 PM  
Anonymous Facelift Testimonials said...

Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!
I have a before Facelift site/blog. It pretty much covers before Facelift related stuff.
Come and check it out if you get time :-)

7:15 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home